“Once there was a white horse, and it tripped and fell in mud.”—Darren A. Ybarra (I would edit this for you &actually take the time to explain your lame joke, but then that would unenhance the funniness of it all. (: )
I really miss my mom. I know everyone always says you don’t know what you got ‘till its gone, but it’s so true. I can’t wait until she gets back on tuesday. That would have been a week without seeing her- the longest amount of time i’ve ever gone. The only other time i wasn’t with her for more than a few days was the Disney trip last year. But those were wayyyy different circumstances. Besides that we’ve always gone on every single trip together. The worst part is that this was the time she needed me the most. But there was nothing either of us could do about it. There was no way i could afford to miss that much school, especially at the end of the 6 weeks. Not having her around all the time really makes me appreciate and notice all the stuff she does for me on a daily basis. But i regret that i didn’t fully realize that until now. I suppose that’s how life goes though, sometimes you gotta learn the hard way. I wanna get her flowers when she does come back :3 just a small way to show her how much i really do care. And i’ll always be there to comfort her, she needs it now more than ever. I love you, mommy.
“I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn’t stay away, I couldn’t fight it.
I had hoped you’d see my face and that you’d be reminded
Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead”—Adele
This 'weekend' between Friday night & today has been one of the most emotional weekends of my life. I honestly don’t know how I am handling this. I think that I’m just trying to block it out. Acting like i’m just watching my life as if it were a movie, seeing but not really living through it.Then i hit an emotional spell, &i realize that everything is actually happening to me.
I pray that i’ll be able to get through this time with a good head on my shoulders. I hope that in the process I don’t unintentionally hurt anyone around me. ’Cause i couldn’t survive nearly as well without those closest to me. For now i’ll turn to the one who’s always been there for me, &the one who i believe was put back into my life for a reason. What some people call coincidence is really God at work.
I was wrong about two things in my original post of this. I’m extremely surprised you actually did read it but then again maybe it was a good thing. Maybe you finally got to see what i still thought about you, about everything.
But, now I know why people write things like this. I just have to get it off my chest. Well i’ll never send this message, &i know you’ll never read it. And I know that anyone who reads this will make their own wrong assumptions about it, but I know what it means. Sometimes I wish you were still around to talk to. You were the only one who was sympathetic &understanding about certain things, &at the time you were the only person I told stuff like that to. You were my own little outlet, always there at a text or phone call’s notice &with a genuine reply. You were the ONE person who I truly believed I never had to worry about having a strain on our friendship at all, or at least a serious one. Just add that to the list of things I was wrong about. Now I also know why people have a hard time hearing the harsh truth about someone they cared for, but you eventually realize that they were only who you imagined them to be. I’m not insinuating anything by writing this, just simply that sometimes i miss conversating with you. And sadly, you would only find me pathetic for writing this now. It’s never easy losing someone you were close with, even after you do get over it. Subtle memories and reminders still linger in the back of your mind, and you can’t help but to reminisce on them. I hope you grow up one day, one day when you remember everything that was ever said between us. I thought you were the person that was different, but you were just the biggest douche bag ever.
I want to write you a letter. Like a legit stick a stamp on it, throw it in the mailbox kind of letter. But then I reconsider that thought about 5 minutes later &realize that its just my foolish &slightly naive side talking. So… I throw that into the file drawer of things that’ll never happen.
Let's see if I'll actually stick to this challenge
30 Disney Princess Challenge!
DAY 1: Favorite movie DAY 2: Favorite princess DAY 3: Favorite prince DAY 4: Favorite song DAY 5: Favorite kiss DAY 6: Prettiest princess DAY 7: Favorite castle DAY 8: Saddest moment DAY 9: Favorite couple DAY 10: Best hair DAY 11: Favorite animal sidekick DAY 12: Favorite non-animal sidekick DAY 13: Favorite outfit DAY 14: Favorite villain DAY 15: Favorite romantic moment DAY 16: Favorite singing voice DAY 17: Best eyes DAY 18: Favorite name DAY 19: Favorite soundtrack DAY 20: Funniest moment DAY 21: Favorite quote DAY 22: Bravest princess DAY 23: Favorite dance scene DAY 24: Favorite parent DAY 25: Favorite lyrics DAY 26: Most magical moment DAY 27: Best wardrobe DAY 28: Favorite sequel DAY 29: Favorite overall moment DAY 30: Favorite happy ending
I get these random ideas in the shower and actually play them out. So this is me following through with my idea to create a series of blog posts titled ‘sometimes’ to help me express those thoughts that otherwise would be pent up inside my slightly confused mind.
It’s impossible for me to ever fully reassue myself that you’ll always be there for me. That voice that i had onced silenced reminds me of how someone taught me that promises are meant to be broken & people aren’t always who they appear to be. The words you speak are only your emotions now, they can change in a split second. So thanks to that ‘special someone’, I realized that the only person whom i can truly trust- is me.